- 1988 nadir of 'white culture' 1999 was no great shakes either Action Figure Theater aging Baltimore--backed-up toilet of a town Baltimore--the Concrete Vixen at her Best baseball -- what a dull pastime better living big f*cking tobacco globs Buffum's Fragrance Counter Burt Reynolds -- great actor or GREATEST ACTOR? Burt Reynolds cartoon Carl Perkins Chris Gaffney city motto comedy crayola dump Danny Gatton Dan Sartain Deadbolt -- The Scariest Band In The World! Doc Watson dumb ideas you get from books about music ELVIS IS EVERYWHERE Esskay Pea and the Bloated Pissoirs Eulogy for Lazy Pete Eulogy for ol' Sherman fat bastards fathers and sons film criticism futurama guy with a boner for Trevor Rabin Hee-Hawg Herman Hi-Fi & the Roadburners Hobo Babylon I'm too old for this shit introduction James Bond Jandek Jimmy Swope kids these days Last Day in the old townhouse Leffingwell's Grocery lemme see them pasteboards there son m Minutemen Monkees tribute band music and losers -- I call it 'loozik' old chum Original Oil Kilz the Jizz Stain DESTROYER ottobar people you'd already know about if you were as adventurous a fellow as I am periodontist's wet dream Putz Poodinsk and the Nite-Liters Putz Poodinski ramones t shirt ridiculous people in music documentaries Rockie Bee Roger Moore sexlexia Shunt McGuppin skinny jeans snobbery soundtrack for the paleo-future St. Mary's College of Maryland Old Boys stumps of mystery Superego Teddy Toughnuts the Golden Boy the horror of domestic life the Sadie Monster trains Tuscaloosa--blood clot of a burg Tuscaloosa-- Wet Fart of the South! way back when whur's mah vay-cay-shun?
Monthly Archives: December 2011
So I click on the tube after putting the Golden Boy to bed; ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is on, and it’s the scene where George Bailey’s just been rescued from his suicide attempt by Clarence. It made me think of … Continue reading
I’ve had my heart set on getting a week off between Christmas and New Year’s. It ain’t happening. No one’s taking it away; I just have too much work to do to take off. I can live with that, and … Continue reading
A million or so years ago, and a thousand or so miles from where I live now*, I was in a band with this guy ratchear. He’s gone on to success, and I; well, I’ve gone on to success as a carpenter.
Even if I hate dealing with ‘music people’ and especially just plain hate ‘other musicians,’ I still like to ‘do music,’ even if I don’t get to have an audience anymore. I laid off making Youtube videos ‘cos they all look like they were made by the hapless kid brothers of the dudes in that one documentary on tribute bands.** Or, for that matter, the one on the Minutemen — all the guys in a)typical Youtube solo guitar performance videos and b)various aging scenesters from the Minutemen doc and c)’music dudes’ in tribute bands all live in sad little apartments, all painted ‘Jizz Stain Hiding White’, or, more accurately, Just Plain Original Oil Kilz, Straight Out Of The Can. ANYWAY, Dan’s vid had the bare minimum of art direction, which led me to make my own, less visually impressive video.
The song I did was a cover of the Landines Bros ‘Alone on the Plain.’ Dan left a cassette of the Landine Bros. demo in my car; I never gave it back to him. Being grim and serious back then in the way that young people are prone, I was drawn to the song of a lonely survivor of an indigenous/homesteader outrage. Anyway, if Dan was gonna do a sad song about a cowboy stuck in a dust storm, I had to find something similar. Way back when, he made me transcribe Roy Rogers’ ‘Blue Prairie,’ and over the years I’ve learned a few more, like ‘Four-Legged Friend,’ ‘The Old Spanish Trail’, and ‘The Old Chisolm Trail,’ but I wouldn’t ever do anything like that in public. I’m really not as well-suited as Dan to approximate Roy Rogers.
*960 miles as the crow flies; I like to ROUND UP for dramatic effect!
**YOU LOOK IT UP. I’m not the f*cking internet, you know. It’s the one with the hilarious enmity between all the ‘Monkees tribute dudes’ in one particular town, with a ‘Mickey Dolenz guy’ and a ‘Mike Nesmith guy’ who’d rather eat a sh*t sandwich than deal with the only decent ‘Davy Jones guy’ in town.
***Factory worker wages are roughly 10 to 15 times what ‘original musicians’ make.
1988, Amsco Productions In 1988, I took up the guitar. Again. I took lessons years earlier, when I was 7, but I couldn’t remember shit about what I’d been taught, week to week. Hey, in 1981, times were tough — … Continue reading