Portaits of the Dead Ball Era, Part II: The Deadening

The Doris Duke Tobacco Glob Gallery

Spittoon’s over there, fella.

Don Sutton’s got some salt-and-pepper in his ‘fro.  And something angry flaring up on his lip…

Don Stanhouse never worries about flared-up cold sores on Baseball Card Picture Day.

ASSSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINEASSELSTINE…Okay, it’s out of my system…

ASSELSTINE!!!!

Easy there, Terry Harper.  You know, in the 21st century, we have a saying which is meant to console you: “It gets better.”  Let’s just flip the ol’ card around, look at your file, Terry Harper, see what’s eating you…

That’s…eight years of minor league stats.  Why’d they even issue a baseball card for you, Terry Harper?  You can’t even talk a first grader into taking  this card. AW, GO TO HELL!!!

Just staring off into the bowels of Hell.  He looks like he’d say something at this moment like, “I just got a cold chill, like somebody been walkin’ on my grave…”

Really?  Every pitch?

What an Asselstine.

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About rockiebee

Husband. Dad. Carpenter. Troubadour. Creative Director for an action figure theater troupe. Video director. Critic. Comics fan.
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